Grammar Lessons with Elliot

I went to a club in the hilariously sketchy 西新宿二町目 district, where before long I was danced all up ons by a Brazilian. I was really hoping for a Nihonjin, but because this particular Brazilian lived in Japan and spoke Japanese fluently that was really my main criterion.

After dancing, I was told the following: ”やりたい”。([I/one] want(s) to do [X])

This statement included neither a subject nor an object of the verb, as Japanese speech is wont to do. But as I've gradually gotten better at understanding these sorts of things and filling in the blanks, I was pretty sure what was meant, but decided to clarify all the same.

"僕を？” (direct object: me?)

Yes, that is exactly what was meant. I discovered that night that not only has my speech progressed to the point where I can flirt in Japanese, I can also politely decline (adamantly refuse) night club intercourse. Hooray!

Back to America (FUCK YEAH) tomorrow afternoon.

Odorimasyou!

Hakodate had its annual summer port festival this weekend, which was tons of fun. Pictures on my facebook for any who care to stalk, although I have a ton more than I have yet to upload. in the meantime, I present this gem that I experienced (can you experience gems? I don't think so, but I'm too tired to care to reword my fail Engrish) among the many performance groups that paraded throughout the streets.

First, the traditional Ika Odori (Squid Dance) for which Hakodate is famous. You can just barely make out the words to the song. About a bajillion people danced about in the street to this song from 4:30-9 pm, and Elliot and I were allowed to join in the fun at 8 pm when we joined the Hakodate University students who were wasted beyond all belief and we all danced for an hour and half straight and bonded. And **** do my feet hurt right now. Anyway:


IKA IKA IKA IKA ODORI ODORI!

And the best for last:



Lady Gaga? REALLY? THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY.

Marching and some ladies

So, I know we ostensibly don't march, right? But before my inner scatter-band badass was freed by the YPMB, I spent four years of my life in the depths of roll-step mark-time horn-swing hell, reined over by a merciless tyrant of questionable senility. And though I wear my YPMB schwee with the same pride that a recovering alcoholic puts into their AA badge, these things don't just leave you unscarred.

So I was participating in the Hakodate Harbor Festival, in a semi-historical costume parade. My part of the parade was sandwiched between not one, but TWO marching bands. They were playing JP Sousa. Stars and Stripes Forever. It was Amerika-tastic! Except they were marching with French Horns. Everyone knows you just don't do that. I missed my mellas.

But then the thing is, I couldn't not march in step. Samurais don't roll-step, but I still marked time every time we stopped. It was bad.

Can you spot the foreigners?

Also, please note that following the parade, having consumed two cups of legal drinking age beer I proceeded to acquire three girls. Subtract one from both sides of the equation and we have ourselves a winning combination.

We saw John Greenawalt today!

BHouse, after an impromptu celebration of Joe's 19th birthday (btw, 19th birthdays are seriously meaningless....srsly), ran into John Greenawalt!

Oh yea, it's Joe's birfday today (though I guess not anymore for those of you in DA ASIA)

Amurrika misses y'all.

Bon Jovi Wins in Any Language

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen (GALAG!!!),

I present Elliot Eaton and his rhetorical prowess as demonstrated by the speech he gave during our Japanese Culture and Language Program's annual speech contest.

It's entirely in Japanese, so for everybody who is not Michael Thornton, just bide your time until (2:00-2:15ish)--it'll be well worth it =). You can totally pick out the words "ABBA" and "Money Money Money" too a little before that.

Also, apologies for the bad quality, my camera fails, which is also why you miss the first 5 seconds of his speech because it wouldn't start recording.

A Lemon Party

So one of the most popular bands in Mongolia is called the Lemons. They basically sound exactly like the Strokes except they sing in Mongolian. But they're quite good. Here's a little sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPlEGM3MObU

So anyways, I've seen them play a few times because there are only like 5 bands in Mongolia and they all put on concerts every week. And naturally, I've become bros with them. Because this is Monbrolia. The lead singer's name is Odnoo and he's a G. He never takes off his sunglasses. Some say it's because he has weird looking eyes. Most say it's because he's really freaking cool. A few days ago I went to a birthday party and the Lemons were there. So I guess it was a Lemonparty. Sorry. And then I told the birthday boy I was from Milwaukee and he asked me if I knew his friend Charlie Villanueva and I felt out of place. And long story short, I cockblocked Odnoo. As a bro, I felt terrible. As a protector of blackout girls, I felt chivalrous. I fear it may have irrevocably damaged our budding brolationship, but I guess I can deal with that.

And now for a shameless plug to support my summer's labors: check out this super groovy website! http://mongolia-institute.org Isn't it cool?!?!?! And look, there are links to Facebook and Twitter at the bottom of the page!!!!! Wowee!!! How cool would it be to follow/fan those things!!! Go for it!!!~!!

nekobusnekobusnekobusnekobus

Dear YPMB,

The Studio Ghibli Museum is the greatest place ever.


End of every discussion ever.

-John

I'm famous!!!

...well...not really. So my host brother, Yoshihisa, age 24, in addition to being really badass and being able to speak English (THANK GOD), is a DJ. Last night while I was diligently doing homework (no, really) he came to my room and asked if I could spare a moment. Seems he and his buddy are working on a new remix and they thought it would be cool to have a real English speaking person read a few lines as an introduction. I think you can see where this is going...

つまり, in a few days/weeks/don't know how long it'll take for edits, if you happen to be clubbing around the wonderfully exciting town of Hakodate, Japan, you can listen to yours truly introduce Yoshihisa & friend's reggae mix with the following lines of epic English (with special audio effects and a trance Europop-esque echo added too!):

"Hi! We are O. D. D., Out of Dance Hall. Original ragga session. This style is the one and only. We are the future. Listen and knock yourselves out. Let's break it down!"

...FAIL.

Yoshihisa's in the top left with the dreadlocks (although he doesn't have them anymore). Also, I'm not sure why he's OBT here and O.D.D. elsewhere...Meh.

I SAW HARRY POTTER

It was entirely in Chinese.

BUT I SAW IT.

Midnight showings here, unfortunately, are not a big affair (at least not for Harry Potter), but it was fun wandering the streets of Harbin while we waited for the movie to start. It was also fun/kind of head-hurting to hear all the Harry Potter vocabulary in Chinese. One of our Chinese friends told us the name of one spell that pretty literally translates to "put a frog in your shoe." My particular favorite was "Maerfo" - Malfoy - who was looking unexpectedly very handsome in this latest installment, having thought he always looked kind of awkward before. I also enjoyed how McGonagall kept calling Harry "Pot", making the "e" in the Chinese-ified "Potter" very silent. Oh, oh, and you know how Madame Maxime always calls Dumbledore "Dumblydore"? That IS his Chinese name. Ahaha.

Anyway. Homework time. I can't wait to see it again/in English.

You're Hot, Then You're Cold

Shower, must we do these things on a degrees per second basis?

(And since for some reason I can't post comments, Elliot, there's a Dreamcast game out there called "Typing of the Dead" which is House of the Dead 2, but you type phrases quickly to kill zombies.)

Worst idea ever?

Yes. I think so.

The photo's not great, but look closely. This is a DS videogame called "English of the Dead". Like the House of the Dead series. But educational?

As far as I could tell from reading what I could of the case, this game is like a point and click adventure, where you use your brains to select the appropriate English grammar before the zombies can eat them. Your brains, that is.

Musing

Dear China,

Ponder this: alphabet. I'm just saying.

Yours,

yi(2)-ge Zhong(1)wen(2) xue(2)sheng

There is a God

My office has a new intern. She's a 6-foot-tall Swedish model.

That is all.

Sunday Night at a College in China

So I'm sitting here trying (failing) to do homework and I hear some loud, male voices whooping and shouting outside. I wasn't really interested - there've been a lot of graduations at the school the past few days (I think different majors graduate on different days?), and a lot of celebrations - but then another voice shouted at them a few times. I went to the open window to see if I could decipher the Chinese equivalent of "shut up, you damn kids!" and was afforded a Rear Window-like view of all the rooms with lights in the buildings surrounding mine.

Because of the weird echo effects in the courtyard, I'm still not sure who was making all the noise. I'm thinking it might be connected to the room across the way full of naked boys flinging water at each other, though. Um. 好玩儿吗？

Finally found a proxy that will let me post here.

Not much to say now, though.

Reason # 6.022 x 10^23...

...why I love my host mom (okaasan).There was an open house today where our host families came and sat in for the last hour of class and had a chance to see us all fail spectacularly at Japanese. Anyway, today after dinner we went to "31" (more commonly known as Baskin Robbins in the USA) for ice cream and the following conversation took place:

Okaasan: ターインの友達。。。あのう、右隣の男の人。。。インド人ですねえ？いつもカレーライスを食べている?
Me: ....

Or, in English:

My amazing host-mom: Your friend, that is, the boy who sat on your right side...he's Indian, right? Is he always eating curry rice?
Me: ....

Somehow, I managed to mostly keep a straight face, although it was pretty hard. And...that's what she said. That's all folks. Over and out.

Tokyo? More like Pokéyo

Hello, YPMB. I am theoretically a member of you. I played with you. And our friend Thanh invited me to contribute to your blog.

Yes, we all know that Tokyo has awesome Gundams (well, just the one), but perhaps more important is the fact that it's actually Pokemon. Where else do you have high speed rail, ubiquitous convenient stores that sell basically everything, ridiculous multistory department stores, lots of people walking around in underground pathways, aggressive cyclists, and big 'ol mysterious temples and shrines? Saffron City is in Pokemon's Kanto, Tokyo is in real-world Kanto (also, Goldenrod City is clearly an analogue to real-world Osaka). I'm living the Pocket Monster dream.

Follow-up to Saturday night

For those interested parties:
- party at Jason's friend's place; consume much alcohol
- by 1:30 am, pretty much only gay men left (plus Rich, the Yale Medical Fellow and requisite straight dude)
- went to Destination, the gay club of Beijing; paid ridiculous cover; drank more; danced
- arrived back at Jason's friend's place at 4:30 am; sun rising; pass out

Did I mention that I'm a teacher?

-cy

I've Got a Nautical Themed Pashmini Afghan!

Tomorrow, HIF is taking a trip to Onuma "quasi-national" Park. Tentative weekend activities will include general park activities, jungle gym shenanigans, various sports activities, karaoke, bowling, swimming, an onsen, and sake drinking (legal drinking age in Japan: 20!). Too bad I don't actually like sake...not that I've ever tried it. I was at a Seven-Eleven buying snacks, and I did actually purchase some sort of alcoholic beverage (8% "Arukooru") of a grapefruit variety because I'm a sucker for grapefruit juice and couldn't resist the shiny advertising.

Strong Zero: Double Grapefruit (or, "Sutorongu Zero: Daburu Gureepufurutsu")

Anyway, I have every intention of riding one of those rent-a-boat's that they promised us and singing "I'm on a Boat" at the top of my lungs tomorrow. And now, bed, because I'm tired and judo kind of kicked my butt today. Literally.

Update from Brongolia

Is Monbrolia a better word? I don't know. But this weekend I had a brotastic experience.

We were walking up to the Zaisan memorial, a wonderful Soviet construction with views of the whole city, when Kevin says "Hmm, I wonder what Blue Ribbon beer is. Probably some cheap crap from China." And I'm like whaaaaat? And he points to some umbrellas that say PABST BLUE RIBBON. And then I hyperventilated a bit. When I came to, I quickly explained to him that no, Pabst Blue Ribbon is not Chinese, and no, it is not crap, but yes, it is cheap. Figures a Columbia student wouldn't know about the beer of America's heartland. Anyways, we made our way over to the umbrellas, which were in the corner of a parking lot in front of a giant golden Buddha, an appropriate place for these holy icons. And there were some sketchy guys grilling meat. We approached them cautiously, but lo and behold, they were not Mongolians, but Uzbek kabob vendors! Oppressed minorities in this hostile country, they were more than happy to talk to some friendly Americans. Alas, they didn't have the nectar of life itself, but they obliged me with a picture in front of the umbrellas, and we thanked these Uzbek broskis by buying some of their overpriced and undercooked meat.

And then we saw a wonderful Soviet mosaic. God I love the Soviets.

Broski update: I saw the guy again last night! In a different place! With kabobs but no PBR, and we had a little broski greeting session.